Poetry Jan. 2011

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Once Beloved

aaaby Sirona Danu

A

heard the strains

aaaaaasweet and slow

of Kenny’s soprano sax today

A

with tender notes

aaaaaathe music stirred

nearly-forgotten memories

aaaaaalike dusty whorls

lifted on a summer breeze

aaaaaaanimating images

as loosed calendar leaves

aaaaaafrom years long gone

rustled down in

aaaaaadappled shadows just out of reach

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on such sunny days

aaaaaawhen music plays

and scents or sights remind

aaaaaaI wonder, once my beloved,

if life for you

aaaaaahas marched on blithely

as it has for me,

aaaaaaand if any lovers

have ignited your passion

aaaaaafrom that grown cold

by our divergent passages

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I carry you with me still

aaaaaaand find I must confess

despite the years that separate

aaaaaamy thoughts

sometimes rehearse

aaaaaaunwritten memoirs

of what was you and I

aaaaaaand grasp to recall

your face, your voice, your touch

aaaaaaif only for posterity

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the gulf of time between us rolls

aaaaaatwenty-years wide, un-navigable

though made shallow by absence

aaaaaaand vows to another

(and, yes, the tug of children, too)

aaaaaawith tender urging

the memories still linger

aaaaaastirring in the murky wash

like drowning spirits,

aaaaaamellow and pale

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our paths so rarely cross,

aaaaaaa mere thrice in decades two,

affording no chances to ask

aaaaaaif your flesh still yearns

when crashing storms

aaaaaasnuff out the lights

and pouring rain

aaaaaapounds a robust beat

through half-open windows

aaaaaamimicking the wild rhythm

of passionate hearts

aaaaaaand bodies in trembling embrace

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and in those moments

aaaaaawhen happenstance

chanced to close our circle

aaaaaaI longed to ask:

if you heard the murmur

aaaaaaof distant echoes

tenderly recalling

aaaaaalove and laughter

and lazy days for two?

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remember then, how once as lovers

aaaaaawe stroked our dreams

and belied our sorrows

aaaaaain passion’s blindness

kilned the bricks

aaaaaato build tomorrows,

only to find that

aaaaaano mortar stiff

could seal the cracks,

aaaaaanor could willows bending

bind the rifts that grew

aaaaaadespite denials that

they existed at all

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I wanted you

aaaaaato plight thy troth

but, rigid and obstinate,

aaaaaayou hid your heart

in a paper box

aaaaaathin as lace, strong as steel

an annulment proposed

aaaaaabut never sought

thrusting church and God

aaaaaabetween

solid as cathedral walls,

aaaaaablind as faith

and just as stubborn

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thus vaguely declaring

aaaaaaour incompatibility

with passive silence

aaaaaaand aggressive dysfunctionality

we tried and failed

aaaaaasmiled and loved

through all the rains

aaaaaaand charming strains

with ardor bursting

aaaaaain absence yearning

until

aaaaaatwo hearts grew cold

‘neath lovers’ lips

aaaaaaand

despite wanting more,

aaaaaamade passing ships