Once Beloved
aaaby Sirona Danu
A
heard the strains
aaaaaasweet and slow
of Kenny’s soprano sax today
A
with tender notes
aaaaaathe music stirred
nearly-forgotten memories
aaaaaalike dusty whorls
lifted on a summer breeze
aaaaaaanimating images
as loosed calendar leaves
aaaaaafrom years long gone
rustled down in
aaaaaadappled shadows just out of reach
A
on such sunny days
aaaaaawhen music plays
and scents or sights remind
aaaaaaI wonder, once my beloved,
if life for you
aaaaaahas marched on blithely
as it has for me,
aaaaaaand if any lovers
have ignited your passion
aaaaaafrom that grown cold
by our divergent passages
A
I carry you with me still
aaaaaaand find I must confess
despite the years that separate
aaaaaamy thoughts
sometimes rehearse
aaaaaaunwritten memoirs
of what was you and I
aaaaaaand grasp to recall
your face, your voice, your touch
aaaaaaif only for posterity
A
the gulf of time between us rolls
aaaaaatwenty-years wide, un-navigable
though made shallow by absence
aaaaaaand vows to another
(and, yes, the tug of children, too)
aaaaaawith tender urging
the memories still linger
aaaaaastirring in the murky wash
like drowning spirits,
aaaaaamellow and pale
A
our paths so rarely cross,
aaaaaaa mere thrice in decades two,
affording no chances to ask
aaaaaaif your flesh still yearns
when crashing storms
aaaaaasnuff out the lights
and pouring rain
aaaaaapounds a robust beat
through half-open windows
aaaaaamimicking the wild rhythm
of passionate hearts
aaaaaaand bodies in trembling embrace
A
and in those moments
aaaaaawhen happenstance
chanced to close our circle
aaaaaaI longed to ask:
if you heard the murmur
aaaaaaof distant echoes
tenderly recalling
aaaaaalove and laughter
and lazy days for two?
A
remember then, how once as lovers
aaaaaawe stroked our dreams
and belied our sorrows
aaaaaain passion’s blindness
kilned the bricks
aaaaaato build tomorrows,
only to find that
aaaaaano mortar stiff
could seal the cracks,
aaaaaanor could willows bending
bind the rifts that grew
aaaaaadespite denials that
they existed at all
A
I wanted you
aaaaaato plight thy troth
but, rigid and obstinate,
aaaaaayou hid your heart
in a paper box
aaaaaathin as lace, strong as steel
an annulment proposed
aaaaaabut never sought
thrusting church and God
aaaaaabetween
solid as cathedral walls,
aaaaaablind as faith
and just as stubborn
A
thus vaguely declaring
aaaaaaour incompatibility
with passive silence
aaaaaaand aggressive dysfunctionality
we tried and failed
aaaaaasmiled and loved
through all the rains
aaaaaaand charming strains
with ardor bursting
aaaaaain absence yearning
until
aaaaaatwo hearts grew cold
‘neath lovers’ lips
aaaaaaand
despite wanting more,
aaaaaamade passing ships
